


The Friendship That Blossoms Once Given A Chance

by FandomMother



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: (sorry not sorry), Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Connor has heterochromia, Depression, Drugs, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Angst, Heidi is a cinnamon roll, Heidi is best mom, Heterochromia, Humor, I'm Sorry, I'm rambling now, Intrusive Thoughts, Jared has heterochromia, Jared is a Memelord, Jared is now taller than Evan, Jealous Jared, Memes, Merlin is cool, Multi, My First AO3 Post, My First Work in This Fandom, Name-Calling, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Kleinsen, Past!Kleinsen, References to Drugs, Short!Evan, Slow Burn, Social Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts, Thick!Evan, Tree Bros, Tumblr Memes, Zoe + Alana + Evan are going to be the best of friends i swear, also, and want to protect him, because my son doesn't deserve to be dead, because not all things are sad gretta, but I love him, but he is suffering from anxiety as well, can someone help me tag?, congratulations if you made it this far into the tags, does anybody have a (tag) map?, especially me, get these boys some help, he just can be a jerk sometimes, i accidentally tagged past kleinsen twice, i'll try to make this worth it, i'm sorry if your name is gretta that wasn't actually directed at you, i'm talking to you larry, let's pretend the death didn't happen, please save these pitiful children, shall we?, shenanigans shall ensue, so stick with me, the insanely cool Jared Kleinmen, this will be a rollercoaster for all of us, you're cool
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-31
Updated: 2017-10-31
Packaged: 2018-12-09 03:29:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 12,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11660706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomMother/pseuds/FandomMother
Summary: “I’ll sign it.” Connor says as he begins walking closer to Evan, one hand outstretched, the other in his pocket.“No, uh, you, you don’t really, have to do that. I, uh-”“I want to.” Connor cuts his rambling off, hand still waiting for a writing utensil.Once Evan hands over the black marker, Connor grabs it. He pulls his hand out of his other jacket pocket, using it to grab his arm. When he does this, he is more rough than intended and Evan winces. After a couple seconds of writing, Connor puts the cap on the marker and returns it to Evan.“Great.” The blonde mutters out seeing how large the boy had written his name.“Now we can both pretend we have friends.” Connor cuts the silence, earning a laugh from Evan. Looking at him, Connor pulls out a piece of paper, the blank side facing upwards, and holds it in the air.“Is this yours?” He asks, allowing Evan to grab it to check.Or, the AU in which Connor doesn't have the chance to look at it due to it not facing upwards. (I think about this a little too often).





	1. Introduction

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first DEH fanfiction and I am super excited, to say the least. This thought won't leave me alone so I decided to contribute to the fandom. I'm a student, therefore I might end up uploading late every now and again, but for the most part, updates should be weekly. I think I shall call them "I Need to Go to Church" Sundays, but meh. Feel free to ask any questions at all, or maybe even make suggestions. My Tumblr is fandommother7.tumblr.com and I would be more than happy to interact with any of you.

Evan isn’t necessarily ready for another year of being invisible, although he has already grown used to it. Grabbing the brown paper bag that was previously resting on the counter, he walks out of the door. His route to school, though it was slightly unconventional, was the quickest. Walking through the wide field of trees, he stares at his empty cast with his mind running back to the note his mother left on his torn-up night-stand. The letter was meant to wish him luck on his first day, as well as ask him to try to get people to sign his cast.

  _But_ , he thinks, _I have no friends to sign it_.

Soon enough, he arrives at the old, brick school. The first person to walk up to him is none other than Alana Beck. The smaller girl approaches him holding several books in her hand.

“Hi, Evan! How was your summer?” she greets, head cocking to the side as she asks the million-dollar question.

“Um, well, I did a summer internship as a park ranger in-”

“That’s great! I did quite a few internships and I got a whole eighty hours’ worth of community service.” She interjects. Looking down at Evan’s arm, the girl gasps. “Oh my gosh! What happened to your arm?” She asks, her tone taking on one of shock.

“W-well, y-you see, um, funny story. When I, uh, w-was park ranger, I, um, broke my- my, arm because-”

“That’s terrible! My grandmother fell down and broke her hip in the hallway. She had to wait for someone to get back to get her to the hospital. The doctors called it the beginning of the end because she died.” She takes a few moments to stand in the gloom but quickly snaps her head back up. “Well, see you later!” Alana smiles, walking away into the doors of the school, never allowing him to finish his story.

The second person to greet Evan is his family-friend, Jared Kleinman.

“Hey~, Evan. How does it feel to be the first man in history to break his arm by jerking off too much?”, the boy asks, smiling playfully.

“I-it’s not like that!” Jared laughs, watching Evan continue to flush and scramble for words.

“No, no, no. Picture this; you have Zoe’s Instagram pulled up, and you’re laying on your bed-”.

“I fell out of a tree!” Evan cuts off, hoping to stop his friend’s torment.

“You fell? You mean, like an acorn?” he asks rhetorically, laughing at his friend’s luck.

“D-do you want to sign my cast?” Evan brings up his hurt arm in hopes of at least getting one person to sign it.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Listen, we’re not friends. We’re family friends. Big difference. Therefore, I cannot sign your cast, but good luck on trying to get anyone else to.” Jared laughs.

The hall quiets down as a scrawny, tall boy enters. Curled in on himself, hands in his black jacket, the boy tries to make himself seem smaller. Jared turns to see why the hallway was suddenly less noisy and groans at the sight of the stoner.

“Ugh, it’s “resident psychopath”, Connor Murphy.” Jared turns to face the aforementioned person. “Nice haircut. Very school-shooter chic.” he comments, smirk set smugly on his face. When Connor’s plain expression only shifts to slight agitation, Jared decides to explain his comment sarcastically, “It was a joke, you know, supposed to be funny.”.

“Yeah, I know, I’m laughing. Am I not laughing hard enough for you?” Connor scrunches his face, hunching over to the other boy’s approximated height, taking slow steps towards the spectacled boy.

“God, you’re such a freak.” Jared rolls his eyes, storming off down the hallway.

Evan coughs a bit, feeling something in his throat. Connor quickly tears his eyes away from the hall upon hearing the noise, pointedly glaring at the other boy.

“What? You think I’m some sort of freak, too? I’m not the freak, you’re the fucking freak!” He shoves the boy to the ground, marching off before he can see him hit the floor.

Evan, now on the floor, winces at the sharp pain shooting through his right elbow. He let out a small sigh, feeling only a little lucky to have landed on his unharmed arm. Careful of his left arm, he stands, brushing off any dirt from his signature blue polo, as well as straightening it out, he starts on his trek to his first period. A few steps before he makes it in, however, Zoe Murphy stops him.

“I’m so sorry about my brother.” She says with worry on her face, “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”.

“I-I’m fine.” He answers.

“Are you sure?”

“Y-yeah.”

As Zoe turns around to leave, Evan’s hand shoots to Zoe’s wrist, grabbing it.

“D-do you, um, like, want to – _doyouwanttosignmycast_?” He mumbles.

“Huh?”

“No-nothing!” He retracts his hand.

“O-okay? Bye, then.” She waves, racing down the hall, presumably to her class.

_Should I ask if Connor wants to sign my cast?_

The thought passes through his mind, as he sits in his newly assigned desk in the front of the classroom, He almost immediately pushes the thought away.

_Why would Connor want to even sign my cast? He literally pushed me down in the halls less than an hour ago. Besides, Connor knows I’m a freak._

Evan zones out for a couple periods, and soon enough it’s his lunch break. Taking a deep breath, he stands from his chair, packing his stuff into his old bookbag. He walks to the cafeteria with his head low, watching his used sneakers as they carry him to his destination.

By the time he arrives, everyone is sitting in the same groups as last year. Striding to a table on the far side of the cafeteria, he jumps as he feels a hand touch his shoulder, but he continues to walk.

“Hey there, Hansen. What’s in the bag?” Jared asks, hoping to get a small bag of chips.

“Bologna and Kraft cheese on your generic white bread. Maybe a bag of potato chips and an apple.” He answers honestly, already reaching to grab the bag of chips for his (family) friend.

“Yes~. Thanks, dude. In exchange for this, I’ll sit with you so no one thinks you’re a complete loner.” Jared snatches the bag of chips as soon as it was pulled out of the bigger bag.

Neither of them break the silence as they sit in a small booth eating their lunches, only the chatter coming from the rest of the student’s filling their ears. It continues on like this until Jared is almost done eating, while Evan only recently started to dig into his apple.

“I heard that the asshole pushed you. Are you okay?” Jared breaks the silence.

“Yeah. I ended up landing on my, um, right arm.” He replies, eyes cast downwards to the gray lunch-table.

“Douche.” Jared mumbles out.

After finishing his lunch, Evan has about half an hour left. He excuses himself, telling Jared he needs to go to the computer lab to do something for therapy. When he reaches the room filled with the electronic devices, he sits at the one closest to the door.

Quickly, he starts to type the embarrassing letter to himself. It starts out how his therapist would want it to, but it rapidly morphs into a self-deprecating letter, and by the end, he remembers his tumble from this morning. After he finishes typing he starts turning around and looking left to right, surveying the lab for people. When he believes to coast is clear, he prints it out.

“Hey.” A voice says from behind him, causing Evan to jump almost a foot into the air. When he looks, he realizes it’s Connor Murphy.

“Um, hey.” He returns the greeting sheepishly.

“I’m, um, sorry for pushing you in the halls earlier, just Kleinman is really fucking irritating.” Connor’s arm rising to rest his hand on the back of his neck. Evan only smiles and lets out a quick spurt of air, forcing himself to not laugh, giving a small nod.

“How’d you break your arm?” Connor’s finger pointed in the direction of Evan’s left arm.

“I, uh, kind of, like, fell out of a tree.” He states though the tone of his voice makes it sound more like a question.

“That’s the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.” Connor snorts, a small but sad smirk forming on his face. “No one’s signed your cast.” He points out seconds later.

“Yeah, I, um, tried to get a couple, um, p-people to earlier, but they, uh, sort of, didn’t.” The shorter boy responds looking slightly off to the side.

“I’ll sign it.” Connor says as he begins walking closer to Evan, one hand outstretched, the other in his pocket.

“No, uh, you, you don’t really, have to do that. I, uh-”

“I want to.” Connor cuts his rambling off, hand still waiting for a writing utensil.

Once Evan hands over the black marker, Connor grabs it. He pulls his hand out of his other jacket pocket, using it to grab his arm. When he does this, he is more rough than intended and Evan winces. After a couple seconds of writing, Connor puts the cap on the marker and returns it to Evan.

“Great.” The blonde mutters out seeing how large the boy had written his name.

“Now we can both pretend we have friends.” Connor cuts the silence, earning a laugh from Evan. Looking at him, Connor pulls out a piece of paper, the blank side facing upwards, and holds it in the air.

“Is this yours?” He asks, allowing Evan to grab it to check.

“Yes, um, thank you.” The other nods with a smile.

“No problem. See you around, I guess?” Connor says, quirking his head at Evan.

“S-sure!” Evan’s face lights up, “D-do you, like, want to, um, exchange numbers?”.

“Why not.” Connor responds, pulling out his phone.

About a minute passes as they put each other into their contacts. An awkward silence filled with a small amount of tension washes over the two.

“Cool.” Connor says as he walks away.

When Evan gets home, his mother is still not there, so he walks up the stairs and throws his bag on the floor and sits on his bed. He pulls out a comic book and starts reading until he hears his mom open and close the front door.

“I’m home! I’ll leave some money on the counter if you want to order takeout, but I think we have a couple slices of pizza from Saturday night that you could throw in the microwave.” Heidi shouts up the stairs.

“Okay.” Evan responds unsure whether his mother could hear him or not.

Once he hears his mother leave he stands, dragging himself to the kitchen. He opts out of calling anyone and embarrassing himself by just heating up a slice of pizza. As he throws away the used plastic plate that used to have pizza on it, he sees the time.

 _9:37, huh?_ Evan thinks.

After bathing and taking care of his oral hygiene, Evan settles into his bed. As he rolls over multiple times, he grabs his phone deciding to text Connor.

_To Connor_

_Goodnight._

_10:06 p.m._

_Oh my God_ , he thinks, _I hope he doesn’t think I’m weird. He definitely thinks I’m weird, and he’ll never talk to me again and I’ll die alone. I’ll never end up having any other friends, and I’ll be forced to live out my days by myse-_

Evans thoughts are cut short by a quiet notification sound coming from his phone. When he looks he sees Connor has texted him back.

_From Connor_

_alredy? its like 10_

_10:09 p.m._

_To Connor_

_Yeah, I’m tired and I need all the rest I can get._

_10:10 p.m._

_From Connor_

_lame_

_10:10 p.m._

_From Connor_

_goodnight ig_

_10:11 p.m._

Evan looks at the text and exhales, closing his eyes. Finally, any insomnia that was lingering subdues and he is able to drift off.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They both throw themselves into the bean bag chairs in front of Jared’s small television. Jared asks what game he wants to play, and they decide on Mario Kart 8. Jared laughs every time he wins a match, which, Evan is willing to admit, is close to every time.
> 
> “Dude, you still suck.” Jared doubles over as he watches Evan fall off the side of a relatively easy map.
> 
> Evan rolls his eyes but ends up giggling along in harmony with Jared’s contagious laughter. As soon as the noise dies down, Jared scoots a bit closer, resting his head on Evan’s shoulder.
> 
> “Just like old times, right, Ev?” He says, placing his hand on the other’s thigh.
> 
> “Yeah.” He responds, not particularly enjoying Jared’s hand on him but not caring enough to remove it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i think the weekly update will be on wednesdays because for some reason it's my favorite day of the week. my tumblr is fandommother7.tumblr.com, feel free to talk to me. thank you for reading. i didn't really expect this fic to get any hits tbh.  
> Thank you, you lovely people.

Evan wakes up in a bit of a better mood than normal and when he starts his letter, he can almost fully believe that today could actually be a good day while he starts his letter.

_Dear Evan Hansen,_

_Today is going to be a good day, and here’s why:_

_You made a new friend yesterday, and you might get to see him again today. That is, unless he realized you’re a complete loser and lack all social skills, and decides to leave you behind, thus leaving you back at square one._

The corners of Evan’s mouth tug downwards as he types the letter, becoming more anxious as he thinks about the probability of becoming alone again.

 Once he pulls on his clothes and freshens up in the bathroom, he heads downstairs, slightly shocked when he sees his mother finishing up a small breakfast.

“Good morning, honey. I thought I’d get up a bit early and make some scrambled eggs for us. Did you sleep well?” Heidi doesn’t turn, but Evan can hear the smile in her voice.

“Yeah.” He replies shrugging, though it’s less enthusiastic than he intended it to be.

After Heidi puts the eggs on plastic plates, they both sit at the small rectangular table they’ve had since before Evan’s father left. They eat in silence, enjoying each other’s company.

“Do you want a ride to school?” Heidi looks up from her plate.

Evan nods, his mom’s smile growing at the thought of spending more time with her son.

When they finish eating they throw their plates away, Heidi sliding on flats as she grabs her car keys. As she does that, Evan puts on his sneakers, tying the laces tight. As Evan walks out the door, Heidi turns around and locks it.

“Yesterday when I got home the door was unlocked. You might want to be more careful, sweetie.” Heidi scolds delicately.

“Uh, sorry, mom.” Evan avoids eye contact as Heidi looks at him.

“It’s okay.”

With that, they hop in the car, and after a couple minutes, Heidi pulls up to the school’s entrance, parking to let Evan out.

“Have a good day. I love you.” She says placing her hand on his forearm.

“Love you too.” Evan responds, getting out of the car.

He does not wave as his mother drives off, not even looking back to watch the car as it disappears out of sight.

As the boy walks up the steps of the school, he can’t help but think about the previous day. Remembering his conversation with Connor brings a smile to his face. Upon walking into the hall of the school, Evan sees Jared, waves, and watches as he walks up to him.

“Hey, what’s got you in a good mood? You jerk off this morning or something?” Jared asks, grin wide on his face as he sees Evan grow tense and start to sputter.

“N-no, God, why do you always do that?” Evan counters as he feels his face becoming warmer.

“Hey, relax dude. I’m just messing with you.” He says as he places his hand on Evan’s shoulder. “By the way, I’m going to need you to come over later. My parents are starting to question whether or not we’re still friends.”

“Sure, I guess.”

“Remember, you’re my best family friend, buddy.” Jared puts up finger guns as he walks further down the hall.

“Yeah, right.” Evan mutters to himself as he opens his locker after the third try.

Evan throws his bag into his locker after he takes out his binder for first period. As he looks at the spine of it, he hears a voice from behind him say “Hey”. He recognizes the voice from the day before and turns around.

“Uh, hey, Connor.” He greets.

“Who’s your first period?”

“Uh, just, um, Ms. Gillinsky. She’s, like, right down the hall.” He answers, stumbling with his words.

“Cool. I ditched yesterday, but I think I have her, too.” Connor states, only earning a small nod from Evan.

When he starts to walk away he hears footsteps behind him, leading him to turn, only to see Connor following him.

“Thought we could walk to hell together.” He says when he sees Evan looking at him. Evan nods again as a response.

They reach the classroom and Evan sits in his assigned seat, while Connor stands near the teacher’s desk.

“Finally decided to show up, Murphy?” The elderly woman comments, pointing at an empty seat towards the middle of the room.

Evan watches Connor roll his eyes as he scoffs and walks over to the old desk. He laughs quietly when he sees Connor look at him and roll his eyes again. Focusing back on their teacher, the class passes painfully slow and Evan is relieved as he hears the bell ring. Evan and Connor part ways upon hearing they have classes in the opposite directions.

The day continues to pass slowly, and at last, lunch arrives. Evan walks to the table he sat at the day before. Jared sits at the table, plopping his tray in front of him.

“What’s up, Ev?” He questions as he instantly tears into the food in front of him.

“Nothing. You?” Evan looks up, taking a small bite out of his peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

“Well, I got a compliment on my sick frames.” Jared laughs, hand flying up to adjust his black-rimmed glasses. “Got anything in there for me?” He gestures toward Evan’s bag.

“Yup.” He throws a bag of Fritos at his friend.

“Sweet.”

“Hey, Evan. _Kleinman_.”  Connor approaches, lacing his voice with disgust as he addresses Jared.

“What do you want, freak? Thought yesterday wasn’t enough when you pushed him, huh?” Jared instigates.

“What? You got a problem? It’s not like you did anything about it, so don’t act like you care.” Connor retorts.

“Yeah, I have a problem, asshole. I didn’t hear about it until second period, so fuck off.”

“N-no, Jared. We talked it out, he’s cool.” Evan says, trying to calm his friend.

“Whatever.” Jared glares at Connor as he sits down next to his friend.

“Shut the fuck up Kleinman.” Connor flips him off, Jared rolling his eyes in response.

Silence ensues and the tension is thick enough to cut. Jared occasionally looks up from his lunch tray to shoot pointed looks at the other boy. Said boy picks at his food, only returning the looks once, otherwise staring off into the distance. Evan, on the other hand, is squirming in his seat, feeling awkward in the tension.

_Should I say anything? What if they both just get up and walk off if I do?_

Evan decides to keep quiet until the end of the lunch period. He sighs with relief once they are dismissed from the once-crowded cafeteria, into the now-crowded hallway. Connor breaks from the group, turning down into a hallway.

“What the hell, dude? You could’ve warned me about the pot-head.” Jared speaks.

“I didn’t know.” Evan answers honestly.

They split when Evan reaches his classroom, waving to Jared as he walks in.

The rest of the day, in contrast to the beginning, passes by in a blur. Jared meets up with him on the way out of the school’s doors.

“I’m driving, Ev.” He says, grabbing Evan’s good arm.

Evan pulls himself into the passenger seat of the green jeep, struggling with the height for only a few moments. Jared, however, seems to easily climb into the car, watching Evan stick out his tongue as if it would magically help him to get into the car.

“Having fun there, Ev?” He chuckles out.

“Shut up.” Evan groans as he pulls his seatbelt on.

The car ride lasts a solid ten minutes, full of jokes and Jared talking in general, Evan’s input was minimal for the most part. Until Jared glances at Evan through his peripheral vision and says,

“So, what now? You trying to get with both Murphy’s?” Jared says, disguising his twinge of jealousy with a laugh.

“Dude, i-it’s not like that.”

“Fine. I’ll stop.” He shrugs in defeat as he pulls into his driveway.

As soon as they are in the door, Jared makes his presence known.

“I’m home!”

“Welcome back! It’s lovely to see you again, Evan” Jared’s mother greets as she rushes to hug him. Evan returns the hug uncomfortably, wishing she’d let him go.

“H-hello, Mrs. Kleinman.”

“Mom, you’re going to suffocate him, let him go.” Jared intervenes, sensing Evan’s discomfort.

“Aw, you’re right. Are you staying for dinner?”

“Uh, um-”

“Yeah, he is. C’mon, Ev.” Jared answers for him, tugging him down the hall to his room.

They both throw themselves into the bean bag chairs in front of Jared’s small television. Jared asks what game he wants to play, and they decide on Mario Kart 8. Jared laughs every time he wins a match, which, Evan is willing to admit, is close to every time.

“Dude, you still suck.” Jared doubles over as he watches Evan fall off the side of a relatively easy map.

Evan rolls his eyes but ends up giggling along in harmony with Jared’s contagious laughter. As soon as the noise dies down, Jared scoots a bit closer, resting his head on Evan’s shoulder.

“Just like old times, right, Ev?” He says, placing his hand on the other’s thigh.

“Yeah.” He responds, not particularly enjoying Jared’s hand on him but not caring enough to remove it.

When Jared picks up his head and starts to come closer to Evan, the boy pulls away.

“L-listen, we’ve talked about this. I don’t like you like that.” He sees Jared wince at his words.

“I’m sorry, but-”

“No, it’s okay. You’re right. I guess I got caught up in the moment, that’s all.” Jared looks down dejectedly. “But, I understand. You got the hots for the Murphy siblings.” He jokes in a successful attempt to brighten up the mood.

“Whatever.” Evan snorts. “You want to get back to murdering me at Mario Kart?”

“Definitely.”

Jared continues to beat the other up till he hears his mother knock.

“Dinner’s ready!” She calls through the door.

“Alright, we’ll be there in a minute.” He hollers back through the door as he pauses the game.

Dinner is less awkward than Evan is expecting it to be.

“Jared is being nice to you, right?” Mrs. Kleinman asks.

“I am, right, Ev?” Jared turns to him.

“Y-yeah, he is.”

“Good.”

The rest of it passes by fast and shortly after, Evan is home again. He uses the key hidden under one of their flower pots to get in, putting it back once the door is open. When he closes the door, he remembers to lock it this time.

After he showers, Evan checks his phone, surprised when he sees a text from Connor.

_From Connor_

_whre teh fuk did u go?_

_3:16 p.m._

_To Connor_

_I had to go to Jared’s._

_7:31 p.m._

Evan sits and starts on his trigonometry homework, waiting for Connor to text back. A few minutes pass by before Evan hears his phone vibrate.

_From Connor_

_y r u even frends wit him?_

_7:39 p.m._

_To Connor_

_He insists we’re just family friends, but we’ve been together for a while._

_7:40 p.m._

_From Connor_

_ew_

_7:40 p.m._

_From Connor_

_did u hve fun?_

_7:41 p.m._

_To Connor_

_Yeah, I guess._

_7:41 p.m._

_From Connor_

_y do u txt like ur doin eng hw?_

_7:42 p.m._

_To Connor_

_I don’t know, why do you text like you’re illiterate?_

_7:44 p.m._

_From Connor_

_point taken_

_7:45 p.m._

Evan laughs and focuses back on his homework. His phone buzzes once again, after a little bit of time goes by.

_From Connor_

_u wanna go somwhr aftr scool tmrw?_

_7:59 p.m._

_To Connor_

_Sure, where?_

_8:01 p.m._

_From Connor_

_secret_

_8:02 p.m._

_From Connor_

_but i can promis ull likw it_

_8:02 p.m._

_To Connor_

_Okay._

_8:03 p.m._

_From Connor_

_cool_

_8:04 p.m._

Evan finishes his homework and packs his stuff back in his bag. After he takes care of his hygiene, he lays in his bed, taking his phone with him. He checks his phone to see no new messages.

_To Connor_

_Goodnight, ConMan._

_9:17_

_What if he doesn’t like the joke? He definitely won’t like the joke. He’s going to hate you forever now,_ he worries as he bites his nails out of habit.

_From Connor_

_gn treeboy_

_9:18_

Evan sighs in relief, as he closes his eyes, passing out maybe half an hour later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment, kudos, and sibscrube but if you don't want to don't because peer-pressure still not cool.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Hey, wanna let me show you that surprise I was telling you about?” Connor asks.
> 
> “But it’s the middle of the school day and my mom would, like-”
> 
> “It’s whatever. We could, like, lie about where we were. Plus, if your mom asks you could just tell her you had a panic attack, or whatever the fuck else comes to mind.” Connor cuts him off, explaining the plan.
> 
> “I guess if you’re sure about this.” Evan sighs worriedly.
> 
> “Evan, I’m not sure about a lot of things- like my existence, to name one- but I’m one hundred percent fucking sure about this.” Connor removes the other from his lap and stands, extending out a hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are mentions of rape/non-consensual sex, so please proceed with caution if this triggers you.
> 
> Look at end notes for an opportunity to join a discord for this fic.
> 
> Thank you for reading! It brightens my day whenever I get comments, I love hearing what you have to say. Feel free to give me constructive criticism. I'm lonely and don't know how to form sentences in person so please, save me. My tumblr is fandommother7.tumblr.com and I would love to answer any questions, take any requests for the story, and/or just talk to any of you lovely people. Thank you once again. :)
> 
> VOLTRON: LEGENDARY DEFENDER FANS  
> So, I am now caught up and I almost cried twice (once with Shiro, the other when we finished the second episode). Lotor was worth the hype, he's so evil it's beautiful. (I'd love to hear your thoughts on what has happened so far)
> 
> DREAM DADDY FANS  
> So, my favorites are Craig, Damien, and Joseph. Craig is the ultimate bro (that's right, I just bro-zoned him), Damien is adorable and deserves so much love, and I love Joesph's children so much. (Feel free to tell me your favorites)
> 
> BAND PEOPLE  
> Is anyone here in band? If so, do you march? Have you already started marching? What instrument(s) do you play? (I'm curious)
> 
> Love you guys :)

The next morning, Evan awakens not feeling too excited about the day ahead of him. Barely willingly, he crawls out of his bed. After doing his basic self -grooming he walks into the kitchen, only to be greeted by the usual empty and cold room. Half of a banana later, he starts on his trek to school. As he walks his mind, like always, wanders. Once he remembers Connor’s promise, Evan can feel the knots star to tighten in his chest. He’s excited of course, but that doesn’t stop the anxiety from lurking. Taking deep breaths, he attempts to calm himself.

Once he sits in his assigned seat for first period the rest of the morning seems to pass in a blur. Only when the boy takes a seat at lunch does the day slow.

“Dude, are you alright? You look like ass.” Jared comments, his lips quirked in amusement, though Evan can see the hint of concern in his eyes.

“Yeah, I guess. I’m just- I don’t know.” He shrugs.

Both boys turn their heads when they hear footsteps approaching the table.

“Yo.” Connor nods as he plops the tray on the table and takes his place next to Evan in the booth, Jared rolling his eyes not-so-subtly.

They all pick at their food, except for Jared who’s focusing on the school’s chicken nuggets, which are actually pretty good. The silence is almost too much for Evan until someone finally speaks.

“So, are you gonna come back to my place after school, Ev?” Jared asks looking up from his food.

“Um, actually, I sort of, kind of, have plans.” He responds honestly.

“Really? The walking tree kink has plans. Do they involve jacking off furiously to-”

“No! Why do you always do this? I have plans with Connor.”

“You can’t be serious. You’d rather hang with _him_ rather than me, the insanely cool Jared Kleinman?” He questions, slightly hurt.

“Yeah, and what are going to do about it, dickwad?” Connor speaks at last.

“I don’t know, tell your mom that you’re sneaking off afterschool to smoke pot with the school’s problem child.” Jared snaps his head back to Evan.

“No, please, I’m not-”

“What are you? Some sort of snitch?” Connor scrunches up his face as he leans closer to the other boy.

“What-the-fuck-ever, douchebag. I won’t tell if you take me along.” Jared says leaning closer to Connor as well. “Consider this cockblock.” He continues with a smirk as he sees Evan redden cutely and the other roll his eyes.

“Fine, dipshit, but you’re sitting in the back.”

“Guys, I don’t think we should-”

“I’m fine with that, as long as I don’t have to watch a porno unfold between my family friend and his gay molester.”

“Jared! W-what the-”

“Why does it have to be nonconsensual, dickweed?” Connor asks agitatedly.

“Because if you did anything to him he wouldn’t say anything if he was uncomfortable. At least he’s relaxed enough with me to stop me without having to worry about getting beaten up, bitchface.”

With that, the table fell into a heavy silence. When the lunch bell rings Evan rushes to the boys’ bathroom. He hurriedly enters the handicap stall and slams the door shut. Curling up near the toilet, his breathing becomes more and more shallow and fast by the second. The air seems so much colder around him as he starts to quake. He feels the world closing in around him and he is left gasping for air for minutes on end. Finally, he takes a huge gulp of air and attempts to regulate his breathing. This proves successful and he feels tears start to stream down his face. Soon enough he is left a sobbing mess on the disgusting floors of a public restroom. After he has cried all he could cry and his throat is left extremely sore, Evan stays there feeling nothing except for the sick feeling in his gut. He jumps when he hears the bathroom door open.

“Evan?” He hears Connor call out as the door shuts behind him.

He gives himself away with his harsh breathing.

“Evan, I know you’re in there, please don’t make me crawl under the stall door.”

A couple of seconds pass and Evan shows no sign of moving.

“Fine.”

He hears footsteps approach the stall and the crack in the other boy’s joints as he bends down. He easily slides underneath and walks up to the tired boy.

“Are you okay?” He asks, worry displaying across his face.

Evan doesn’t answer physically or verbally, he just sits there wanting to cry even more. A sob wracks through the smaller boy and he tucks his head into his knees as he sits in a fetal position.

“Oh, um, holy shit. I am sorry, I’m not good at this. Um, can I touch you?” Connor continues becoming even more worried.

Connor sighs in relief as he sees Evan nod a small amount. He applies a small amount of pressure onto the other’s back, rubbing circles that vary in size. When he feels Evan start to lean into the touch, he sits next to him and wraps his arms around the other boy, moving the circles to Evan’s arm. In less than a minute, Evanis being fully supported by Connor, resting his head on the brunette. As he starts to calm, Evan finds himself sitting on Connor laps, hugging him tightly. There’s a stream of ‘thank you’-s coming from the boy as he cries lightly into the other boy’s shoulder. Connor hugs Evan tightly, still not feeling totally comfortable with the situation. Unknowing on how to comfort people, Connor pats Evan’s back and it seems to work.

“If it makes you feel better, I just realized I could have crawled over the stall instead of sliding across this fucking filthy floor because I’m a fucking dumbass.” Connor chuckles out.

Evan laughs slightly at that comment and the tears start to dry.

“I feel like crap right now.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is shit, but that’s beside the point.”

Once Evan calms he realizes what had just happened.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, um like- I’m sorry if you’re, like, super uncomfortable. I just- I-”

“Chill out, Hansen. You’re fine, I guess. Just please stop talking a mile a minute.” Connor interrupts.

“I’m sorry.”

“And stop with all of your fucking apologies.”

Evan looks like he’s holding something back.

“I swear on my own life if you say it.” Connor warns.

“Sorry- oops!” Evan slips up, hands flying to cover up his mouth. Connor only rolls his eyes.

“You’ll get there.”

They sit in the peace, lucky that no one has come in. They sit in the noiselessness of the bathroom stall, neither one moving from their current position.

“Hey, wanna let me show you that surprise I was telling you about?” Connor asks.

“But it’s the middle of the school day and my mom would, like-”

“It’s whatever. We could, like, lie about where we were. Plus, if your mom asks you could just tell her you had a panic attack, or whatever the fuck else comes to mind.” Connor cuts him off, explaining the plan.

“I guess if you’re sure about this.” Evan sighs worriedly.

“Evan, I’m not sure about a lot of things- like my existence, to name one- but I’m one hundred percent fucking sure about this.” Connor removes the other from his lap and stands, extending out a hand.

Grabbing the hand, Evan is hoisted up into a standing position. Not letting go, Connor drags the smaller boy out of the school and into the parking lot, stopping only when they reach the car. He opens the door for the other and runs around the front, throwing himself in the driver’s seat of the slightly beat-up car.

They spend a few minutes in silence, Connor focusing on driving while Evan looks out of the window to see the surroundings passing him. The trip continues with no incidents, save for the time Connor doesn’t stop at a red-light- Evan ends up gripping at whatever he could as the brunette laughs at him.

Terror creeps into Evan’s system when they pull into an ice cream parlor titled “À La Mode”. He begins to twist the hem of his shirt, hands growing sweaty and heart starting to race ever so slightly. Avoiding the possibility of the embarrassing panic the sets on his face, he tucks his head down watching his used shoes walk behind Connor’s black combat boots.

Said turns and notices the other’s distress. He slows down and taps Evan on his shoulder, startling the smaller boy.

“What flavor?” He asks nonchalantly.

Evan looks up in a brief moment of disbelief.

“Vanilla.” The boy answers safely.

“Are you fucking serious? They have a fuck-ton of flavors and you chose vanilla?” Connor prods a smirk prominent on his face.

“I-I don’t know, why don’t you, like, choose or something?” He asks growing slightly frustrated, the knot in his chest somewhat tightening. Connor rolls his eyes at this strolling up to the counter.

“Hello, how may I help you?” a young woman asks from across the counter as she uses her hands to gesture to the long ice cream display.

“I’ll take a scoop of coffee in a waffle cone. And for him,” Connor looks at Evan and mouths ‘cone or bowl’ and answers, “caramel pecan, a waffle cone too” when the other boy only shrugs.

“Would you like to pay with cash or card?” She questions kindly.

“Cash.” Connor replies as he pulls out a ten-dollar bill, handing it to the lady.

“Just give me a minute or two and I’ll leave you boys alone.” She says offering a smile as she returns the change and starts working on the order.

“Thank you.” Are the two words Connor just barely heard as Evan mutters them out.

“It’s whatever.” He whispers back.

“Here you go, and one more.” She says the second part more to herself and hands Connor his cone while she’s already working on the second part of the order.

Connor nudges Evan when he sees the woman extend the ice cream cone towards him, tearing the boy’s gaze from the store.

“T-thanks.” Evan stumbles quietly and takes the ice cream.

“You two have a nice day!” She calls out with another smile.

Evan returns the smile nervously while Connor waves without looking back. The taller boy holds the door open for Evan as they walk out of the parlor. The blonde looks down and hesitantly takes a bite of the ice cream, then releases a pleasant hum.

“How did you, uh, know about this place?” He quizzes and continues to take another bite.

“Well, my family used to come here a while ago. That was before I became a sorry excuse for a son.” Connor answers. Evan can’t tell whether it’s anger or sadness lacing his voice so he settles with both.

“Oh.” Evan says dumbly. A couple beats of silence pass. “I-I’m sorry that I even said anything. I didn’t mean to like bring up any, like, bad memories or anything like that it’s just- I-”

“It’s fine,” Connor barks out aggressively, “just get in the car.”

Evan does as he’s told and climbs into the car with haste.

It isn’t long in the car when they arrive at a large, locked fence. It’s about a foot taller than Connor. On it there is a huge sign with the words ‘Autumn Smile Apple Orchard’ and an apple logo right next to it. Despite the area’s name, there are many different types of trees among the overgrown apple trees. Looking around, Evan notices that there’s not a possible place to enter through.

“Hey, uh, how are we supposed to get in?” Evan asks meekly.

“Simple; climb.” Connor smirks.

“Um, I think we might have a small problem.” Evan says quietly, picking at his cast. Connor gives him a confused look and lets his eyes trail down to the useless limb.

“Oops, but we’re not leaving. I’ll help you, just grab onto the fence.” The taller boy states.

“No, you don’t need to-”

“Evan, get your ass over there.”

“No, no, no, it’s okay, I could just-”

“Evan!” He takes a deep breath calming the bubbling rage, “Just get the fuck over here.” The boy sighs out.

“O-okay. Sorry.” The shorter boy mutters as he walks up to the fence and grabs it.

The other walks up behind him and crouches. Connor pulls Evan’s knees apart and places his in between.

“You’re going to sit on my shoulders and then I’m going to push you over. It’s up to you on how you land.”

“Are you sure it’s okay to trust you?” Evan feels the anxiety build in him.

“Well, you’d be the first, but that’s unimportant because we’re doing it whether you trust me or not.” Connor responds.

He grabs onto the shorter boy’s thighs and stands, causing the other to shout in alarm. His legs are more cushioned than expected based off of their appearance in his too-big khakis.

“W-why didn’t you warn me first?!”

“You would only stall us longer. Now, get over there.”

Evan squeezes his thighs together with worry.

“Fucking relax! Are you trying to kill me?” Connor complains whacking the other boy’s thigh.

“Sorry!” Evan tightens then immediately loosens his legs.

He grabs the fence and Connor removes then replaces his grip on the back of his thighs, pushing him up further. Evan holds the fence with his good hand and drops a little over a foot to the ground. He backs up and dusts off the dirt as he watches as Connor jumps and pulls himself up and over the fence.

Connor walks in front of the smaller boy, Evan following him as he walks down the wide path. It trails deep into the forest until it ends and they are left with an unending expanse of trees. They continue walking even further into the now forest, leaving the actual orchard behind. They stop only when they see a wisteria tree that was in full bloom. Connor strides towards and takes a seat as Evan stands and gapes in amazement.

“You comin’ or what, Hansen?”

“Y-yeah” Evan gulps.

He mimics the other’s movements and places himself next to the other, back resting against the wide girth of the tree.

The boys sit in silence looking at a bench a little further away from them, but neither makes any moves towards it. The stillness of the moment is almost surreal. A slight breeze coming in blowing a few strands of hair out of Connor’s face, giving the boy a perfect view. His eyes are closed and his head is tilted back just the smallest amount. For the first time, Connor’s face appears genuinely peaceful.

Another breath of wind causes the blonde to shiver and the other boy takes notice.

“You want my jacket?” He offers.

“No, uh, you don’t _have_ to because then wouldn’t you, like, be cold?” Evan questions quickly.

“I usually wear long-sleeves under the jacket.” The boy shrugs, taking off his jacket to reveal a navy blue long-sleeve shirt.

“Thank you.” Evan says for what feels like the one-hundredth time.

“No problem.” The taller boy groans as he returns back to his resting position.

Evan slowly leans forward and pulls the jacket on, struggling as he pulls it onto his casted arm. It’s loose on Connor, therefore it’s even looser on Evan. The sleeves dangle from his hands, but he’s warm nonetheless.

He doesn’t notice it but Connor opens his eyes to peek at the other. He looks adorable in his black jacket. A light blush sweeps across his face and he looks up at the plentiful branches and the infinite number of leaves.

They spend a few minutes like that until both boys let the sweet embrace of sleep wrap its delicate arms around them.

When the shorter of the two wakes up, he sees a groggy Connor squinting at the brightness of his phone. The slightly more alarming thing about this situation is he doesn’t remember when his head moved to the other’s lap.

“Good morning, tree boy. Did you know that you snore _really_ fucking loudly?” Connor informs a smug smirk playing at the corner of his lips.

“Oh my-, I’m so sorry. Did I wake you up or-”

“No, it’s fine.” Connor stops him, “It’s actually really fucking adorable.” He says in the lowest whisper possible.

“Huh?” Evan asks confusedly, not quite hearing what the other boy had said.

“Nothing, I just said that you really need to stop apologizing for breathing.” He plays it off.

“Oh, okay.” Evan lets his eyes droop towards the ground.

Both jump when they hear Connor’s phone ring, Zoe’s contact popping up on his scratched phone screen. He decides to let it ring then turns it completely off.

“Dude, would it be fine if I crashed at your place. My family hates my fucking guts.”

“Um, sure?” Evan’s voice lifts more into a question more than an answer.

“Cool.”

With that, they both stand and walk back near the gate. After getting lost-

(“Connor, are you sure you know where we’re going?” Evan panics.

“No, no I fucking don’t, but if we head in one direction- don’t you dare make any fucking jokes or I will chop down of these trees with a pocket-knife- we should end up at the fence.” Connor reasons with an anger that’s growing rapidly coating his voice.

“Oh my God, we’re totally lost. We’re gonna be lost out here forever and no one will find us because we’re in an abandoned orchard- _and oh my God, I don’t think I can breathe. IthinkI’mhyperventilating._ ”

“We’re fine, Evan.” Connor turns around, losing all of his anger when he sees the other boy about to cry again for the second time today. He bends down and rubs the other’s back remembering that it had helped earlier that day. “Shhh, it’s gonna be okay, I guess.” He attempts to comfort and it works, for the most part, he guesses when he sees Evan slowly start to function normally again.)

They make it to the fence, realizing there was a hole in it the whole time just a few yards away from the car. Evan hears Connor swear when he lays eyes on the driver’s side lock. It is damaged, but nothing appears to be stolen so he assumes that the criminal had given up.

The ride back to Evan’s is still, neither wanting to break the soothing quietness of the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about The Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman™ but he shall redeem himself soon. He is a diverse character with many emotions and thoughts and he does not deserve to be done dirty. Btw I'm excited for later in the story for my horrible sense of humor and weird ways to have fun.
> 
> I'm thinking about making a discord, so if you go to my tumblr (fandommother7.tumblr.com) and talk to me, I'll make one based upon how many people want to join. The only requirements are to be reading this story, can write, and have a discord. Like seriously, I'm okay with having around anyone. Just don't be sour and you're fine. Goal amount is maybe 5-7. Please get in touch with me if this is something you're interested in being a part of.
> 
> (Now I'll write the next chapter because I've been a lazy ass for a couple of days.)
> 
> Please comment (you peeps give me life), kudos, and sibscrube (once again no peer-pressure here.)


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Have you ever watched a show called Merlin?”
> 
> “Um, no.” Connor gives Evan a strange look. “Why?”
> 
> “Because, I was thinking that, um, we could, like, watch it?” Evan fiddles with his cast.
> 
> “Sure.” Connor shrugs taking a seat on the grey sofa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg. Thank you, peeps. I love you all so much and I'm soooo grateful that you're reading this. My tumblr is fandommother7.tumblr.com please feel free to ask me anything or talk to me about the story. The discord opening is still a thing btw (all you have to do is message me on tumblr to get in) and I'd be glad to have people to share ideas with (maybe show a couple drabbles). I hope you enjoy this week's update!

Evan is worried, to say the least. He hasn’t had anyone over, aside from Jared, ~~in a long time~~ ever. He turns back to look at the older boy bringing his hand to pick at the heavy cast. The other is looking around the neighborhood not paying attention to the blonde as he unlocks the door with slight trouble. While training his gaze to the floor, Evan holds the door open. He doesn’t look up when he sees Connor’s combat boots pass through the entrance.

Closing the door behind him, the boy follows the other into his house. He looks around and sees the small amount of clutter on their coffee table and the mail scattered across the small dining table. He sees a large number of books and magazines gathered throughout the years sitting in the bay-window directly to the right of the front door. A small cardboard box sits under said bay-window holding a menorah and some long candles. The family portrait of his mother and him- Heidi had decided to pay for a new one soon after her ex-husband’s departure- hanging among many of paintings of luscious landscapes and quaint homes. The walls were a faded pastel green, a few chips in the plaster due to the many years of residence.

Connor scans the house in amazement. It’s nothing financially compared to his house but the charm of it is astonishing. The vibe of the home is definitely more welcoming and warm, unlike his own. It reminds him greatly of his late grandparent’s place. The whole house is strikingly different to his. The brunette’s home is more of a dark and brooding place, allowing you to feel the tension before you even step pass the threshold.

Realizing he hasn’t said anything and was rudely staring at the house, Connor turns to Evan and immediately is met with the sparkling blue eyes.

“I’m sorry, I-I know it’s not that much but-”

“But nothing. It’s…” Connor lets his gaze drift around the open layout again, “Nice, I guess.”

“Oh.” Evan follows Connor’s eyes and proceeds to attempt to break the ice. “Um, I don’t really know what to do, but, uh, we have internet, some games- board and video-, um, what else? Oh! We also have Netflix if you, like, wanna just watch some movies or whatever.” He lists off.

“I’m up for whatever.” The older boy states simply.

 _Well, that wasn’t really helpful_ , Evan huffs in his head.

“If you had to, like, choose between the things I mentioned, what you want to do?” He tries again.

“I don’t know, what do you want to do?”

“I’m asking you because I’m, like, the host and you’re the guest, I guess? Therefore, you get to choose.”

“How the fuck am I supposed to know what I want to do? I’ll do pretty much whatever you want to do.”

“But we’re supposed to do what you want to do.”

“Well, Evan, I want to fucking do whatever you want to do.”

“Well, I want to do whatever you want to do, Connor.”

“Holy fuck, what the hell do you want to do?”

“You’re supposed to choose!” Evan musters up the courage to shout exasperatedly.

“I’m not going to, so you fucking choose!”

“Fine, then we’re gonna sit here until you figure out what you want to do!”

“Fine!” Connor bites back.

A few minutes of silence pass and suddenly Connor barks out harsh laughter.

“What’s so funny?” Evan asks confusedly.

“Look, I might have issues but that fight was one of the most stupid ones that I’ve had. That says something because I’ve slapped Zoe over a hairbrush before.” His laughter dies out by the end of the sentence, smile replaced by his usual mask of indifference.

Sensing the growing tension, Evan changes the subject. “Have you, um, finally figured out what you want to do?”

“To be honest, Netflix sounds pretty nice.”

“Thank goodness.” Evan mutters to himself.

They move into the living room and Connor looks at anything except Evan as the blonde turns on the television.

“Have you ever watched a show called Merlin?”

“Um, no.” Connor gives Evan a strange look. “Why?”

“Because, I was thinking that, um, we could, like, watch it?” Evan fiddles with his cast.

“Sure.” Connor shrugs taking a seat on the grey sofa.

It takes the shorter boy a couple of minutes in order to pull up the show, but when he does he sits next to Connor on the loveseat.

After a couple of hours, they manage to reach the fourth episode.

“How is it?” The shorter boy questions.              

“Other than Arthur being a bit of a douchelord, it’s good.” The other answers truthfully.

“That doesn’t really get too much better but he’s friendlier towards the end of the show. Also, don’t get too attached to anyone. Not that this show is like Attack on Titan or anything, but there is a bit of death.” The blonde warns.

“Wait, who?”

“Nope. Not telling.”

“Evan, you better spill or so help me God.”

“No way, Jose.”

“Come on.”

“You’d know if you read about the history of Camelot.”

“You suck, Evan.”

“I know.” The boy admits self-deprecatingly and Connor sighs at this.

“You don’t suck.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Do you always contradict yourself?” Evan laughs.

“Yes.”

“That’s confusing. How will I know what to believe? I’m blonde ya know?” He continues to joke.

“Whatever, just play the next episode.”

About halfway through the installment, Evan stands and walks toward a hall near the staircase.

“Hey, where are you going?” Connor pauses the episode not wanting to watch any without the other.

“Just grabbing a blanket, I’m a little cold.” He replies from the other side of the room.

The brunette hears a door close and watches as Evan holds a large knit blanket as he walks to the couch.

Connor chuckles when Evan curls up into a cocoon and tells him to hit play.

Another episode and a half pass and it’s far past midnight. Both boys are becoming progressively more tired.

“Hey, Evan?” Connor calls out tiredly.

“Yeah?”

“Would you mind sharing the blanket?” He rubs his eyes.

Evan struggles sleepily to get out of his self-made nest, but he wraps the blanket around the taller boy.

“Here.” He mumbles softly.

Not long after they turn their attention back towards the show, Connor feels a thump on his shoulder. Evan has fallen asleep, his head now resting on Connor's shoulder. He smiles and slips away moments later.

When Heidi arrives home, she can vaguely see two figures on the couch. She creeps closer to the living room to get a better look. A smile spreads on her face as she looks at the two boys. Her son’s head was resting on another boy’s shoulder. The other boy rests his head on her son’s, both sound asleep, wrapped up in a large blanket she had gotten as a gift from her deceased mother. She silently pulls out her flip phone to take a candid of her son and his friend. Heidi’s smile remains as she walks up the stairs and into her bedroom.

At roughly 6:13 in the morning Connor is abruptly woken up by a loud crash.

“Shit!” He hears a woman curse from where he remembers the kitchen.

The brunette rises from the couch slowly hoping to not awaken his friend. It’s all for nothing as he watches horrified as Evan falls onto the couch.

“Connor?” The boy looks up, clearly puzzled. “What time is it?”

The taller boy shrugs for an answer.

“Good morning!” Heidi calls from the kitchen.

“Morning, mom.” Evan responds weakly.

“Mornin’.” The other boy repeats.

“Have a wonderful, day I made french toast but I can’t stay because I’ve been late once already! I hope I’m able to be formally introduced to your new friend soon.” Heidi walks out of the door with a smile and wave.

“She seems nice but she frightens me.” Connor whispers under his breath. Evan hears this and snorts.

“You’re not wrong.”

Both boys relocate to the kitchen at the promise of french toast. Neither talk as they eat their breakfast. Half an hour passes and they are walking out of the house.

The car ride to the school is filled with light banter

“No one's, um, gonna realize we’re wearing the same clothes, right?” Evan asks as he remembers they had no time to change.

“Dude, we wear, pretty much, exactly the same thing to this hell house every day.” Connor points out.

“Uh, yeah, I guess you’re right.” Evan lets out a breathy chuckle.

Moments later they are disembarking from the vehicle, both running quick fingers through their hair. Wordlessly, the boys walk into the school. Heading straight for his locker, Evan bumps into Jared.

“I-I’m so- Jared?”

“Look, man, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to offend you or anything. I tried to get ahold of you but you wouldn’t answer your phone.” The younger brunette panicked in a hushed shout. “Wait- where were you? It’s not like you to answer your texts.” He looks puzzledly at the shorter boy.

Evan breaks eye contact, opting to stare at the oh-so-interesting ground. Silence falls heavy as Jared looks between the other two boys. After a brief look of sudden realization, the shorter brunette smirks.

“You were totally being gay, weren’t you?” He laughs.

“N-no! It’s not like that!”

“Sure. You got any protests, beanstalk?” Jared questions sarcastically.

“Fuck off, Kleinman.” Connor rolls his eyes. Classic.

“No, thank you. So, are we good, Ev? I’m truly sorry and I owe you big time.” He trades his playfulness out for sincerity.

“Yeah, just could you, um, please not say anything like that?”

“Never again I swear.”

Smiles are exchanged between them as well as a hug. Connor watches, glaring at the bespectacled boy.

“Hey, something wrong or just resting-bitch-face?” Jared jokes.

“Just because Evan forgave you doesn’t mean I’ll forgive you.” Connor huffs, breathing deeply to soothe the bubbling frustration within him.

“Dude, I said I’m sorry. That was a douche lord thing to do and I regret it. Can we, like, not jump down each other’s throats- wait that sounds gay- argue every time we meet? ‘Cause it’s pretty fucking tiring.” Jared extends his figurate olive branch.

Connor doesn’t say anything as he looks around, deep in thought.

“Whatever.” He finally begrudges.

“Yay!” Jared jumps as he mocks peppy joy. He pulls the other two into a hug, startling Evan. As soon as his arm wraps around Connor, however, the boy is pushing in an attempt to escape.

“Get the FUCK off me, Kleinman!” He protests.

“No! I’m trying to spread the goddamn love!”

“Well, I don’t need your “goddamn love”.” Connor continues to struggle. “How in the hell are you this strong?”

“Boy scouts and required weight lifting will go a long way.” Jared deadpans.

“Hey, didn’t you only show up to half of the weight lifting practices? Also, didn’t you, um, quit boy scouts in seventh grade?” Evan falsifies the other boy’s reasonings.

“Evan, you ruin everything.” Jared immediately pulls away, crossing his arms and faking a pout.

“Why did you quit boy scouts? I’m a bit lost.” The tall boy brings back from the conversation moments prior to the current one.

“Some kid on the JV football team found out and teased me for being gay because of it. Little did he know, I was a closeted pansexual.” Jared laughs.

“Ass-hat.” Connor comments quietly, causing both of the others to start giggling.

The conversation dies out and they are left standing uncomfortably.

“As much as I love your teenage cynicism, and your khakis,” Jared starts, looking to Connor, then to Evan, “I’m about to be late, and I don’t know about you- but I’m feeling twenty-two- but my teacher is an asshole and doesn’t let us in late.”

“Same here, see you at lunch?” Evan asks hopefully.

“Of course! What kind of stuck up prick do you take me for?” Jared answers with a chuckle.

“See ya.” Connor says.

The two, still standing together, turn toward their shared first period. The bell rings just as they take their seats.

_Dear Evan Hansen,_

_Today might be a good day after all(?)._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Insanely Cool Jared Kleinman™ did, in fact, redeem himself as promised. I had a lot of fun slacking off and writing the beginning of this chapter. Also, I love Merlin. I procrastinated sooooooooooooooo hard and there is much regurt (that was on porpoise (i'll stop now)). Also, I feel like Zoe deserves some screen time here so she'll show up pretty soon. Thank you!  
> Please comment, kudos, and sibsrube, unless you don't want to, i mean, that's fine too.  
> (Tbh, please comment, i'm lonely). ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s silent- if you don’t count his heavy breathing and sniffles- for a moment before the phone begins to ring a second time.
> 
> Curious, Connor shuffles his way across his room and checks the caller id.
> 
> It’s Evan.
> 
> In the span of a single second, he accepts the call and brings the phone to his ear.
> 
> “Hello?” His voice is very rough and his throat feels raw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Self-harm
> 
> hewwo i wrote this chapter to vent/cope, so be prepared for some light angst™. also over 100 kudos and 1000 hits wTF THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH! I love you all so very much! please comment you guys, you really brighten my day and it makes me feel so happy getting to interact with you all.

The day passes somewhat smoothly for Connor. All things considered, it could actually be a good day. For instance, Kleinman wasn’t annoying after this morning’s episode. Another great example, no one walked in the bathroom when he had his pre-rolled joint dangling from his mouth, lighter centimeters away. So, yeah, the day was going just peachy.

Until he comes home, that is.

As soon as he sets foot in the door, he is greeted with the usual screaming match from his parents. They’re yelling about the usual stuff; him. Rolling his eyes, as he usually does, he walks up the stairs, already fed up with his mother and father’s antics.

He climbs the stairs and yanks a pencil from his stash in a cup and takes out a sketchbook from its hiding place. After many light lines, he has his basic sketch down. He darkens many lines and it becomes the intended image; a rose in full-bloom. Putting down his pencil, he casually glances at the small digital clock. It has many scratches and scars from years of abuse- much like himself- but he is more worried about the time displayed. It reads ‘5:48’ and he knows that means any minute now, Cynthia will knock at the door and he will be forced to sit with his family at the god-forsaken table.

As if on cue, three loud knocks filter through the door, startling him out of his thoughts.

“Connor, honey, it’s time to eat!” she shouts through the door with faux cheerfulness.

“Coming.” He acknowledges weakly.

The boy stands, stretching out his long limbs. He hears and feels many cracks and pops throughout his body, sighing when they cease. Slowly, he starts the trek down the stairs. When he sits down, he is sure Larry is glaring at him.

The table is silent as everyone grabs their food, which is what appears to be a weird form of ratatouille. He only takes a small spoonful, not having quite the appetite. Watching as everyone eats, he picks at his food taking a couple small bites. He gags as Larry shovels a huge amount of food into his mouth in one go.

“How was your day at school, Zoe?” The older man asks, food still in his mouth.

“Good. We sight-read a song in jazz and it’s actually pretty fun. Although the chords are really jumpy. Oh! And Alana and I thought it would be cool to hang out this weekend, is that alright?” The brunette asks, subtly puppy-eyeing her parents.

“Of course you can, sweetie. How about you, Connor?” Cynthia shifts the conversation.

“It was whatever.” And, for the first time in a while, he isn’t lying

“That’s nice.”

The mood is peaceful. Too peaceful.

“So, Connor, where were you yesterday?” Larry looks at him pointedly, squinting his eyes as if it were going to affect what his son has to say.

“With a friend.” He responds guardedly.

“What friend?” Zoe and Larry question in harmony.

“How nice! May I ask who this friend is?” Cynthia butts in.

“He’s just a kid from school.” He shrugs.

“Who?” Zoe furthers. “I haven’t seen you with anyone except when you pushed that poor kid with the blue shirt- Eric, I think.”

“Evan.” He corrects, muttering it out quietly and angrily.

“He was probably high and just doesn’t want to admit the truth.” Larry jabs.

Connor feels the rage as soon as the last syllables roll out of the man’s mouth. Ready to start yelling, he opens up to speak but is immediately cut off by his mother.

“That isn’t very nice. How about to prove to your father,” Cynthia snaps her head to her husband, then back to her son, “you bring him over for dinner tomorrow? Would that be fine?”

“Why do I need to prove anything to him?! He doesn’t fucking care, and neither do you! You just want to make sure I’m not getting high with my dealer or some shit!” Connor stands, hearing the loud bang of the chair hitting the floor.

“No! Watch your language, Connor! Why can’t we just meet your friend?” Cynthia continues to pry.

“See, he doesn’t have a friend. He’s lying like kids like him do.” Larry interjects.

“Larry! Don’t say that about-”

“You have no fucking clue what you’re even talking about! You don’t know me or my life, so how would you know whether I made a friend or not?!” Connor digs, realizing he sounds typical, but he doesn’t care anymore.

“Don’t you _ever_ raise your voice at me like that again, _young man_.” Larry says sternly, attempting to use his non-existent fatherly control over Connor.

“You don’t fucking own me and I’ll do whatever the fuck I want!” Connor starts to walk away but is firmly grabbed by his father’s large hand.

“Get your ass back over here. This little ‘friend’ of yours is going to eat with us tomorrow, or else I’m taking away the rest of your allowance money, your vehicle, and you’re grounded until further notice. Do I make myself clear, Connor James Murphy?” Larry squeezes his arm tightly and the boy winces at the pressure.

“Whatever, just let me fucking go!” Connor finally breaks away, rushing up to his room.

He slams the door behind him, throwing his long body on his bed. A couple of sobs wrack through him and he takes a mechanical pencil off of his nightstand, running it harshly over his forearms. While it doesn’t break the skin, save for once or twice, the utensil leaves raised lines in its wake. Every time he feels a strong pang in his chest, he swipes the pencil over his arm, sometimes opening up nearly-healed over scar drawing out droplets of blood. Minutes pass by and eventually, his skin is painted with the red, viscous liquid. He nearly jumps out of his skin whenever he hears his phone ring from across the room. Not bothering to answer it, knowing his voice is going to fail him, he lets it ring. It’s silent- if you don’t count his heavy breathing and sniffles- for a moment before the phone begins to ring a second time.

Curious, Connor shuffles his way across his room and checks the caller id.

It’s Evan.

In the span of a single second, he accepts the call and brings the phone to his ear.

“Hello?” His voice is very rough and his throat feels raw.

“Oh my- Connor you’re- thank goodness- I-I’m so happy that you’re- Are you okay?” The boy on the other line merges the beginning of many sentences together, stopping when he has, at last, found what he wanted to say.

“Not really, but why are you calling me?” Connor asks, already a little pissed but he figures he’ll get used to Evan’s inability to speak properly at some point.

“Oh! I, uh, I’m sorry about- about calling it’s just that- that you weren’t- were not answering your, uh, texts? I wanted to, um, like, make sure you were okay.”

Connor’s eyes widen, slightly astonished at his friend’s worry.

“Holy fuck- um, thank you, I guess, but I’ll be fine.” His voice cracks on the last word as the tears that had been welling up started to slide down his face.

“Connor, are you- do you want to talk about anything?” He powered through his sentence, the genuine concern in his voice causes Connor to let out a loud sob. “Connor, it’s okay just, uh, take deep breaths, um, try breathing through your nose for four counts, hold for seven, and out for eight, then repeat. Can you do that?” Evan gains some confidence, finally going through his words with only slight hesitation every here and there.

Connor nods, mentally face-palms, then answers with a small “yeah.”

He does the breathing exercise for nearly a minute. When he is calm he releases a small “okay”, ready to speak to Evan.

“Do you want to talk about it?” The boy asks, worriedly.

“Um, if I’m being honest, not really.” Connor answers.

“Well, that’s okay too, I guess.” Connor is able to hear the anxiety pushing its way back into the other’s system.

“Don’t worry about it, just stupid family shit. Speaking of which,” he remembers, “would you mind coming over for dinner or something tomorrow?”

“Um, I don’t know. I think I can. I’m pretty sure mom has class, so, probably. I’ll have to ask.”

“Nice.”

An awkward silence hangs in the air, neither of them familiar enough with conversation to know how to re-break the ice successfully.

“Um, good night, I guess. Sweet dreams, Connor.” Evan wishes and Connor chokes on his own spit, face going extremely red.

_Holy fuck, that was cute._

“W-what was that last part?”

“Uh, sweet dreams?” Evan sounds puzzled.

“Y-yeah, good night and sweet dreams to you too.”

The call lasts several seconds after the actual verbal conversation ends, both waiting for the other to hang up. Connor slams his thumb on the ‘end call’ button and throws his hands up to his face. He feels the heat of his face in the palms of his hands. When he finally pulls himself from them, he has a wave of guilt and disgust hit him like a train as he sees the smeared blood and aggravated and elevated cuts. Reluctantly, he sneaks into the bathroom down the hall to wash it off, flinching at the stinging sensation given by the water running into his reopened wounds.

Hours pass and his mind races. The topics change like seasons, in his mind, but he always finds himself thinking about Evan over and over. At around 1:27, Connor passed out after taking the maximum dosage of sleeping pills. He still tosses and turns through the night, missing the warmth he had the night previous, but he makes it without waking up until dawn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i gave you angst but i also gave you pining connor so you dont get to complain, jk i love you. btw regular update is still wednesday.
> 
> Please comment, kudos, and sibscrube! (specifically, comment because my heart leaps whenever you guys comment).


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The bell rings just as he takes the first couple of steps past the door. The blonde sits in his seat, looking over his shoulder to try and spot his tall friend. When he doesn’t see him, he begins to worry. Thoughts like “is he okay?”, and “is this because of the thing he wouldn’t tell me last night?” fill his head to no end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Usage of Drugs
> 
> Hello!!!! I am so sorry that this fic went on a hiatus (kind of)!!!!! My life was weird and I got really sidetracked but I am back. Thank you for reading!!!! If there is anything youd like to ask or call me out on feel free!!! I hope you enjoy the chapter.

It is 7:34 a.m. by the time Evan finally awakens. He doesn’t truly notice at first, taking his time as he grooms himself. When he does notice, however, he is rushing to throw on clothes. He pulls on the first shirt he sees in the closet and rushes down the stairs, only grabbing the brown paper bag and a piece of bread, the later for breakfast.

The time is 7:52 a.m. as the boy practically sprints out of the house dawning a wrinkled baby blue polo. The skinny jeans provide resistance as he slows into a jog, making his way to the school. He can feel his inner thighs begin to chafe, so he slows into a walk, grateful to see the school. Luckily, he makes it to the school only minutes before the first bell would ring. With the halls cleared, it is easy to make a beeline for his locker, shoving his bag into it and pulling out a book with haste.

The bell rings just as he takes the first couple of steps past the door. The blonde sits in his seat, looking over his shoulder to try and spot his tall friend. When he doesn’t see him, he begins to worry. Thoughts like “ _is he okay?_ ”, and “ _is this because of the thing he wouldn’t tell me last night?_ ” fill his head to no end. He is distracted enough that he doesn’t realize his teacher is looking at him.

“Correct, Hansen?” Ms. Gillinsky questions, a smirk evident on her face. It is quite obvious she knows the smaller boy was spacing out moments prior.

There is a heavy silence for a couple of seconds as he searches the chalkboard covered in words for any clues. Not seeing any, he takes a deep breath and guesses.

“Um, no?” Evan tries. The woman resembles a fish for a few moments, eyes wide and mouth gaping.

“That’s- that’s correct. Good job, Hansen.” She turns back to the board, explaining. Her voice makes it clear she is still in awe as she describes the answer.

The rest of the class passes without incident, thankfully. Most of Evan’s fears vanish when he sees Connor walk up to him, eyes red.

“Hey, dork. What’s up?” He approaches, seeming to be slightly out of it.

“Oh- oh my gosh, Connor! Are you- are you okay? Your eyes they- they’re, um, red.” The boy stresses, reaching a hand out, but never really touching the other.

“Yeah, 'm fine. What about you?” He smiles lazily.

“I’m fine, too, I guess.” The boy pauses, puzzled with Connor’s behavior. “Are you- holy- Connor, are you high?!” He whisper-shouts, accusation lacing his tone.

“So, what if I am? You gonna send me to jail or somthin’.” He deadpans.

“N-no, but you really shouldn’t be in the- in the halls high. What if one of the deans sees you?” The smaller pushes, still very concerned.

“God, you sound like my fucking mom. I’ll be fine, Evan.” Connor tries to pat him reassuringly but he loses his balance.

“No, no you won’t. Come on, let’s- let’s go to the bathroom.” With this, Evan tugs the other into a boy’s bathroom conveniently located a short distance away.

Once they’re inside the restroom, it’s quiet. Evan doesn’t know whether to wait for Connor to open up or to start bombarding him with questions. The bell startles both of them and a bit of adrenaline rushes through Evan as the realization that he’s skipping sets in.

“We cuttin’ class?” Connor continues to seem dazed, only stressing the smaller boy further.

“Yes, but-”

“Neat.” The brunette cuts him off, punctuating the end of his sentence with a harsh chuckle.

Evan becomes more confused, not knowing if he’s frustrated or amused at his friend’s attitude.

“Um, when?” He makes another attempt, trying to figure out some of the details.

“Huh?”

“When did you, um, get high?” He repeats, taking a moment before saying the last part due to his lack of knowledge on drugs and alcohol.

“A couple minutes ago, duh.” Connor states as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. “You wanna try?” He offers mellowly.

“N-no!” Evan sputters before getting the word out, dumbfounded at the outrageous offer.

“Sucks for you, then.” The other shrugs.

Some beats of silence pass by before Evan decides to proceed with quizzing Connor.

“Why?”

“Um, because I wanted to. I don’t answer to you, by the way.” The other responds as he becomes annoyed. Evan freaks out in his body, knowing he screwed up but he is unaware of what to do. He starts to fidget and play with the hem of his polo.

“S-sorry.” He mutters out the apology. The other boy doesn’t acknowledge this, not truly paying attention to much. “How long does this, uh, usually last?”

“An hour or two.” The other gives a truthful response. “Did’ya get an answer from your mom?” Connor takes a turn at asking.

“Yeah, I’m allowed to go as long as I tell her if I, like, stay the night or something.”

“Nice.”

The small exchange is put to an end when they hear someone walk into the bathroom, heading straight for the stalls. Instead of waiting it out, they exit and walk around the school. When the taller boy looks towards Evan, he sees his hunched over, picking at his cast.

“Dude, if you walk like that, you’re gonna get us caught. Stand up straight and look like you’re not doing something illegal, because you’re not.”

Evan listens and smiles when Connor praises him with a small “there you go.” They wander through the halls for a good fifteen minutes. They part ways, classes being in different directions once again, and they don’t reunite until lunch rolls around.

At the grey table, Evan splits a fruit roll-up with Jared. Connor plops down next to Evan, setting his plate on the table not-so-gently. For the first time, the shorter boys see him actually eat the school food as if it weren’t one-hundred and ten percent disgusting.

“How can you even eat that? I, at least, mooch off of Evan as a way to get good food in.” Jared points it out. Connor only lifts his shoulders in response, not knowing why he’s eating either. “So, Ev, I heard you were almost late to class. Is there something you’re not telling us?” The bespectacled boy jokes.

“You were late?” Connor whips his head around, almost appalled.

“No! I was _almost_ late. I- I accidentally didn’t wake up to my alarm clock, which is weird.” Evan explains, hands going through numerous positions under the table.

“Lame.” The others say in unison.

“Jinx. That was fun-”

“Let’s never do that again.” Connor doesn’t let Jared finish his sentence. Jared deflates slightly at his words, a pout making its way onto his face.

The atmosphere of the table shifts whenever a boy with large headphones sits next to Jared at the edge of the seat. None of them think much of it, knowing he frequently sits at random tables. All of them feel as if they shouldn’t talk while the kid is there. Their discomfort goes unnoticed as the boy eats his food that appears to be from outside of the school.

The last three classes seem to be the worst in Evan’s eyes as the AP Lit teacher decides to hand out three pages worth of homework. The final bell rings and Evan is (pleasantly) surprised to see Connor waiting in the doorway for him.

“Let’s go.” The boy leads the other out of the school and into his car wordlessly.

The ride to his house is uneventful, the only conversation being when Connor turns to him apologizing for his actions. Naturally, Evan is dumbfounded at the spontaneous apology, sputtering an “it’s perfectly fine! I would just, uh, prefer if you didn’t, um, ya know, like, be high around me?”. This earns him an offended look from Connor, but the brunette just huffs and turns his attention back towards the road.

A pregnant pause fills the car then, what could only be deemed as chaotic, ensues.

“You’re not my fucking mother.” Connor states, voice obviously straining.

“That’s not- it’s not that- I- I didn’t mean it like that!” Evan shouts as soon as he realizes he’s flubbed up.

“Really, Evan? ‘Cause that sounded exactly like you were trying to tell me what to do.” The boy continues to prod, his jaw clenching slightly.

“No! It’s just it-”

“‘It’ what, Evan?!”

“It makes me uncomfortable!” The response is too quick and loud.

“Too fucking bad, get over yourself.” Connor is glaring at the road as if it somehow is returning the nasty stare. Evan, on the other hand, has focused his gaze on the floor of the car. There is a tight and wound-up feeling throughout his chest that won’t unwind no matter how much oxygen he takes in. In what feels like a matter of seconds, Evan is doubled over gasping for air, each breath quick and shallow.

Connor doesn’t notice until he hears the other’s breathing becoming heavier, the noise prompting him to glance at the blond.

“Fuck!” Is the first and only word to escape his mouth. He slows the vehicle and pulls over onto a grassy area near the pavement.

They spend a bit of time waiting for Evan to slow his breathing, Connor patting him and rubbing his back awkwardly.

“I’m sorry.” He mutters, making it a point to not look at the shorter boy. After nearly ten minutes of this, Connor turns his attention back towards getting to his house.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger-ish ending!!! I love you all!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please kudos, comment, and sibscrube (only if you want to though, no peer-pressure because that's not cool).


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